Living the ANTI-Heroine LIFE

Hello to all my beautiful ladies! Welcome back! I know that some of you are still on vacation and kudos to you! I’m all about taking vacations and staycations! I don’t know about all of you but after I go on vacation, all I want to do is to recover from that vacation! If you have the time to do that, do it! 

We’re already in the third week of July! Holy moly! How are you all feeling? If you haven’t had a chance to read last week’s blog on having your HOT Woman SUMMER,  it’s never too late to start! I’ve found that summer is the perfect time to make changes for yourself; this may include your fitness, your mental health, or doing something that scares the shit out of you and don’t let fear stop you from being your authentic self! 

If some of you were not aware, I was sick about two weeks ago. I had this awful cold that felt like I had COVID. During my convalescence, this was the perfect time for me to watch movies. I watched several and started noticing several trends. I thought to myself, hmmm…why is it always the daughter or some other woman who has to pay and sacrifice herself for the actions of her father or men in the family? They have to give up their freedom in exchange for the shitty actions of the men in their family! Which of course, got me so angry! Funny, growing up, these movies seemed so romantic…now, I scoff and yell at my TV.  Yes. I am projecting my anger at my poor TV. Rest assured, I tell my TV that it’s not their fault for my projection.

Sadly, throughout history, women have paid the price, and have had to sacrifice themselves to keep the peace due to other people’s actions regardless of our wants, desires, and happiness. Even though it’s 2024, some of us are still sacrificing ourselves to meet the needs of others simply because we have been conditioned that this is our purpose in life. 

As of last summer, I decided to enlist the help of a personal trainer to work on my physical health since I was going to be 40 years old in October. My intention was not to only work on my physical health but also focus on my mental well-being, and most importantly, injury prevention.  During some of my sessions, my trainer would comment on how strong my back was when we would focus on my back exercises. I would jokingly state “it’s from all the shit and trauma I’ve had to carry!” I would laugh it off. But I’ve been recently thinking and reflecting on my past experiences and came to the conclusion that ooof! The truth is,  I've had to carry a lot of burdens with me throughout life that I needed to work on and let go. Healing like learning, is always an ongoing journey that requires constant growth and attention.

The truth is so many of us girls and women, have been groomed to be the superwoman and heroine for others while forsaking our our needs, wants, rest, and dreams simply because the people around us have fucked up, are too lazy, have not been held accountable or have not  been taught responsibility  As a result, their actions are somehow our responsibility! 

I hear it so often. Women are TIRED! They’re tired of spreading themselves thin to meet the needs of everyone else but their own! Well ladies, it’s time to embrace your ANTI-HEROINE ERA.  What is being an anti-heroine all about? Everything opposite of what a heroine is!  Ever notice how in movies, the villain/s always have the most fun?  It’s because they don’t GIVE A SHIT. They do whatever the hell they want,  they don’t  give a damn about others (you can still give a damn about others but have boundaries), and they get to do all the things that most of us only dream of doing!

So how do you embrace your anti-heroine? Here are some things to do: 

• Acknowledge Imperfections: Heroes/heroines all seem sooo perfect! Ever notice that in movies, it’s all the heroes and heroines that are gorgeous, so giving, with high morals? They’re the first to sacrifice themselves? As an anti-heroine, accept that you have flaws, weaknesses, and most importantly  don’t hide them.  OWN THEM!

• Authenticity: This is one of the hardest things to do! Why? Because it means being vulnerable, letting  others see a side of you that you may have hidden, and not feeling that the true you will be accepted. The truth is, NOT everyone will be able to handle the authentic you and guess what? Screw them!  Learning and accepting yourself may mean showing a side of you that people can’t relate to. 

• Unconventional Choices: When you decide to take the path of an anti-heroine, embrace taking unconventional paths or decisions that others might not expect or be comfortable with. A reminder, others will be UNCOMFORTABLE with the choices you make. Regardless, trust your judgments and follow your intuition. 

• Challenge social and cultural norms: As kids, we all dreamed of becoming the “good person”  to be the hero/heroine who sacrifices themselves for others. We were taught to always be “nice” and we had to put other people’s needs before ours. Well screw that! You can be all the above but NOT at the cost of losing yourself!  It’s okay to question societal norms and rules, especially if they seem unjust or outdated. Be willing to stand up against the status quo.

• Develop your own ethics: As in values, you can also develop and adhere to your own set of ethics and principles that are important and meaningful to you. Again, not everyone is going to be comfortable with your ethics but as long as you’re okay with them, that’s all that matters! 

My fabulous anti-heroines, when you create and forge your own path, many times, you will be a villain. Why? Because you learned that being the “good girl” or the “better person” got you nowhere but more work, taken advantage of, and trauma. You learned that giving the “shirt of your back” got you nothing but a terrible sunburn and skin that now needs to be peeled! 

Being an anti-heroine is not about becoming a “bad” person. It’s about putting YOU first. As women, the biggest fear that was used against us by society was being called selfish; still in 2024, people will call us selfish simply because many of us are now choosing ourselves and our peace. If living in peace, calm, safety, and choosing myself means being selfish and an anti-heroine, shit, sign me up for LIFE!!! Ladies, moving forward, I’m all about keeping my shirt on my back and being the anti-heroine of my dreams! Go LIVE yours!

Know of someone who is ready to embrace their anti-hero life? Tell them to subscribe!