IT IS WHAT IT IS

Hello to all my BADASS Anti-Heroines who are thriving in their HOT Woman SUMMER! I hope you all are enjoying your summer! For the ladies that have not had a chance to start their HOT Woman Summer or their Anti-Heroine journey, don’t worry, it’s never too late! As I stated previously, I feel that summer is the perfect time to implement any new changes, growth, and definitely a great time for reflection on what you want in your life. 

Sometimes, summer can also be the time when things become even more clear, when things and people unmask themselves.  Summer brings the light, the clarity, that at times, we may have been too scared or too blind to admit to. It’s hard to admit that we’ve held on too long to certain situations and people that have overstayed their welcome. 

You’re probably thinking to yourselves, wow! This week’s blog is serious after reading the first few paragraphs and yes, this week’s blog is very straightforward and a matter of fact. I’ve always been a “straight shooter” and I’ve been told by other people that it can be offensive. I used to feel bad that I was given that label but now, I realized that the people who called me that were people who could not handle the truth. To me, being a straight shooter is not being offensive, malicious, or rude. It’s me being honest about my thoughts, feelings, and opinions.  When you call out shit for what it is, not everyone is comfortable with that and would rather play ignorant and play it safe than address the issue. 

When you’re ready to forge your own path and OWN IT, you decide to take responsibility for your path by showing up for yourself, taking action, and being consistent with your plan of action; people will start noticing the changes in you. Some will initially tell you that you’re proud of you, will cheer you on, and will tell you to keep going. 

As you continue your path, work towards your goals, and prioritize the things and actions that will lead you to the next level, all the people that initially cheered you on may start making comments about your progress, your lack of absence in things that you used to participate in (that may not have been the most healthy for you), and your newfound confidence; with all these changes, you present yourself in a new light with an aura that shines brightly. 

However, you notice that with this light and confidence, the comments from other people who were initially nice and supportive, become undermining and condescending. The people who were your strongest allies now seem to distance themselves from you; they no longer celebrate your wins and your work. 

When this occurs, your first thought may be to question, gaslight your feelings, and the situation. You think that maybe you’re overreacting and it’s all “in your head (as women, we have been so gaslighted to not trust ourselves and our feelings). Unfortunately, when you go through a metamorphosis from being a caterpillar to a butterfly, not everyone is going to appreciate the wings you found. They’re still that caterpillar that isn’t ready to metamorphosis. 

On this journey, you will learn A LOT about yourself and about other people. You will learn who are your true supporters, who will stand by you, who will cheer you on, and who is silently lurking from the shadows, watching you, hoping that you fail. 

But you won’t FAIL. Failure is NOT in you. You will learn that some things will work, some things will not, you will learn to modify and pivot as needed and you don’t view any of this as a failure. Instead, these experiences empower you to continue on your path and be even more authentic to yourself. 

The reality is, when you forge your own path, be who you were meant to be, you will be in situations where you will have to leave certain people behind. Will this hurt? Yes. Will you grieve? Yes. Will you question if you did the right thing? Yes. This is all part of the grieving process and also the growth process in embracing who you were meant to be. 

So how do you accept things for what they are? You’ve heard this phrase “It is what it is.” What does this exactly mean? This is a way of accepting the situation/s for what they are. This is  a powerful way to cope with challenges, reduce stress, and find peace in the present moment. Here are strategies to help you embrace acceptance:

Identify the Emotions: Recognize and name your emotions. Whether it's frustration, sadness, or disappointment, acknowledging your feelings is the first step toward acceptance and owning them. 

Allow Yourself to Feel: Give yourself permission to experience your emotions fully without judgment. Suppressing and denying your feelings can prolong the acceptance process. This moment in your life is part of your grieving process. 

Stay Present: Focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Remember, you can’t change the past. 

Observe Without Judgment: Practice observing your thoughts and feelings without labeling them as good or bad. Allow yourself to just feel! This can help you develop a non-bias  perspective.

Change Your Narrative: Instead of thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” Try to reframe it as, “What can I learn from this experience?” “What did this experience teach me?”  It’s very easy to victimize yourself and the situation but choosing not to be a victim of the circumstance empowers you to move forward. 

Accept Reality: Understand that resisting reality only creates more stress and discomfort. Acceptance doesn’t mean you approve of the situation; it simply means you acknowledge it as it is. 

Release Expectations: Let go of rigid expectations about how things should be. Embrace the idea that life is unpredictable, ever-changing, and learning to adapt to these changes will help you let go of any expectations. 

To all my BADASSES who are OWNING their path, remember to never make yourself small, diminish yourself or  your accomplishments, simply because other people are uncomfortable or threatened by your light, confidence, and aura. You have put in the work, consistency, and BELIEF  in YOURSELF and have kept going. 

The sad reality is that not everyone is going to be with you on the journey and learning to accept that reality can be hard. However, once you accept the truth, acknowledge it, and allow yourself to feel the emotions, you can forge your path. Ladies, not everyone has the strength, the will, or the ambition to take control of their destiny but you have. Remember, your DESTINY IS YOURS TO MAKE! SO, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? YOUR DESTINY IS WAITING!