BABE, IT HAPPENED FOR YOU

Hey, hey Darlings! Happy March! How is March going for all of you? My month is already bu-sy! I feel like I am out of hibernation and I am ready to mingle but still take care of myself, be, and be selective of who I give my currency (energy, time, and brain cells) to. Remember, you are expensive and not everyone deserves or can afford your currency. 

Last week, I was in Las Vegas! (I jokingly call Vegas my third home). I attended a Healthcare Conference, received an award, and was also part of a panel that discussed mental well-being! This was my first big event as an entrepreneur so it was extra special for me. This event allowed me to also meet amazing ass people, and  especially, badass women who are forging their path in both their professional and personal lives. I met some people who are now considered lifelong soul friends. I truly feel I was meant to cross their paths so I can strive to be a better person. 

As I sat in the airport in Las Vegas, it allowed me to have a lot of time to reflect about my journey and how it has led me to be where I am today; especially within the last five years of my life. 

Five years ago, I was healing from a broken ankle, went through so much trauma from my workplace, and was feeling sorry for myself and then realized that I had ALL the power by finding a new job (that paid more, provided me with my clinical hours for supervision, and had 3 day weekends). 

Looking back, when all of this happened, I definitely felt like a victim. I would question, “why me? Why did this have to happen to me?” I used to be the type of person who would think that I was being punished for something that I must have done in my past life (Dramatic, I know). 

Now, I accept that all the things that happened to me were for my own good. At the time that it happened though, I didn’t appreciate it and I internalized a lot of the pain. 

However, one of my strengths is that whatever the situation, I would always reassess the situation, myself, anyone involved. Addtionally, I always tried to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and gave the other person/people grace for their reactions that I may not have anticipated. 

As I discussed my strengths, one of my weaknesses  has always been my tendency to overthink and overanalyze, which has caused me to make things more than they really are. Until very recently, I’ve learned to really work on this habit of mine, which has helped me learn to let things go, trust my gut, follow my intuition, and accept things, situations, and people for who they are. 

Once I developed this mindset, this helped me reframe all of my experiences from stating “it happened to me” to “it happened for me.” I take all that has happened for me to ask “why did it happen and what did I learn from this?” Instead of overthinking and overanalyzing, I reflect by writing down my thoughts, feelings, and intentions of how to accept and move forward. 

I know that all of you who are reading this blog have gone through hell and back and many of you are saying, “I always seem to be in HELL Poiab!” And yes, at one point in my life, I felt the same way. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop or I would prophesize that something bad was bound to happen because I couldn’t have things always being positive for me. 

Now, looking back, I acknowledge that my negative thoughts and mindset did prophesize my negative experiences. Here’s the truth: your MINSET sets the tone of your life and your intentions. If you believe and live in goodness, your life will be good. If you believe and start thinking negatively, your life will be negative. You determine how your life gets to be based on your mindset. 

Here’s the deal ladies, reframing your experiences from "it happened to me" to "it happened for me" is a powerful cognitive shift that can significantly impact your mental and emotional well-being. Here's why this perspective is important and a must to embrace: 

• Empowerment and Control: When you view events as happening for you, it fosters a sense of agency. Instead of feeling like a passive recipient of circumstances, you recognize your ability to influence the outcomes and extract value from the various situations. As I always state, part of forging your own path and owning it is all about working on what is in your CONTROL and what is NOT. Once you understand this, you claim your empowerment and your path.
  
  
• Resilience Building: This mindset encourages resilience. By interpreting challenges as opportunities for growth, you're more likely to adapt and thrive in the face of adversity and you recognize all the power that you have. Again, I can hear people who are reading this just groaning and stating, “Poiab! I am so sick of being resilient! I  just want to catch a break!” Believe me, I get it. I used to say that all the time. How do I handle things when I am being tested and when SHIT keeps happening? I allow myself to feel, acknowledge, and then ground myself. It’s not always easy but part of growth is learning how to deal and cope with setbacks.
  
  
• Positive Outlook: Once you start reframing your experiences to “it happened for me,”  it promotes a positive outlook, which will allow you to find meaning and purpose in challenging times. It’s understandable that when you are going through the actual event or experience, it’s not going to feel positive. When you adopt this outlook, the intention is that this will lead to increased satisfaction and hopefully happiness. 

• Learning and Developing:  One of the most important mindsets to have when you forge your own path is accepting that you’re always going to be a student and be open to learning. When you start seeing experiences as happening for you,  the lessons and personal development that come from each situation/s will assist in enhancing your self-awareness and help you grow. 

There you have it! Remember darlings, when you start to incorporate, reframe, and state “it happened for me” you are empowering your life experiences from being a victim to your circumstances to saying “NOPE! I am not a victim and I am more than my circumstance!” And yes; you are more than what others and society make you to be. 

I believe that each and everyone of you who is reading this is strong, brave, and has the WILL to forge your own path, because you ALL are BADASS Queens! As throughout history, Queens endure adversaries, unimaginable pain, loss, isolation, and yet, they alchemize their experiences by rising from the ashes to reclaim their throne. 

Remember, YOU ARE A QUEEN! Life and others may think they have beaten you. In times like these, don’t be afraid to feel, rest, recoup, and come back stronger than ever before. In life,  BATTLES MAY BE WON, BUT ULTIMATELY, YOU WIN THE WAR!  So Queen, get  READY TO CLAIM YOUR THRONE AND LIVE LIFE! As you sit on your throne, you are reminded that all your experiences and battles happened FOR YOU; NOT TO YOU.