ACCESS DENIED! 🕶️
DON'T BE DISTRACTED FROM 🗑️ FROM YOUR PAST
Happy second week of April! I feel like it is finally Spring! Last week’s weather made me literally go under the weather. It was cold, rainy, and we had snow at the beginning of the week. I was feeling under the weather and took time to just focus on my wellbeing (something that I am still trying to get used to). I was so happy that towards the end of the week, we had beautiful, sunny weather. I took advantage of this by walking outside. Nature, fresh air, and seeing animals in their environment seems to be the best prescription!
April is already a busy month for me! Most of my weekends are already booked with several events and during the weekdays, I am busy with brunches. I absolutely love brunches during the weekdays; to me, this is one of my biggest blessings. I recall one day while I was driving to work on a busy Monday morning and turning to look at a breakfast restaurant and seeing all the retirees getting out of their car to enjoy their breakfast. I was so envious of them and thought to myself, I only have 35 more years of working until that can be me! 😭
Now, weekday brunches are part of my life and I am forever grateful and appreciative that this is part of my professional life. If someone had told me that I would have this type of freedom five years ago, I would have replied “Yeah Right! In my wildest dreams!” And guess what, dreams do come true! It’s all about believing and forging your path.
My transition to spring has been odd in certain areas of my life and particularly in my relationships. For my readers who have been with me since I started my blog, I feel that many of you have been with me through all the tribulations of my life and are a witness to my trials and victories as I forge my path in all areas of my life.
I feel that the turning point of my life was last summer in August when I had to really take time to work on myself, reflect, ask the tough questions, make the decisions that were at one point impossible, mourn, shed, and accept the new things about me and my new path.
I let go, grieved, and told myself that instead of closing chapters, I closed BOOKS (which I wrote a blog post), in which I don’t revisit people, situations, and places that are meant to be left in a book on a dusty shelf.
Life surprises us in so many ways. When you close that book of your life, you level up, heal, have a positive outlook on life, and are no longer bothered by stupid shit, the universe will try to test you to see if you really are committed to your new path.
The universe will test you by sending trash from the past to try to distract you to see if you will take the bait. It will do this by having people from your past reach out to you wanting to rekindle a relationship with you. This may be in the form of an old friend, ex-romantic partner, previous co-workers, or someone who you knew no longer aligned with you and who belonged in that old book that you closed.
But you’re not fooled! No matter how much this person/people cajole you, apologize for their bad behavior, their neglect, or how “busy” they are, you know better than to accept their shitty excuses. Frankly, you don’t care. You’ve grieved, you’re over the self-blame, you’re done with the what if’s, you finally found peace and YOU’RE at PEACE.
For those who are contemplating about allowing people and situations from the past back in, I can’t decide for you. You have to decide what you feel is best for you. I will ask that you assess what your intentions are in accepting and allowing access to your life. But also ask, what do you think their intentions are wanting to come back? Are you convenient? Do you lack boundaries? Do you need to work on your self love, value, and worth? I know that some of these questions may seem harsh but you have to really ask yourself why you’re willing to accept something from the past.
For those who are saying “HELL NO! ACCESS DENIED! I don’t entertain and get distracted from trash from the past!” Kudos to you! I admit, I am biased in this situation. I am the type of person who does not revisit the past and believes that there’s a reason why people/situations are meant to be in my past and are not meant to be part of my new path/life.
The truth is, the past will test you—but you don’t have to answer every call. Sometimes, what tries to resurface isn’t a sign, it’s a
trap. Old situations, people, patterns, or mindsets that once held you back will often try to pull you in just as you're leveling up. It’s a test to see if you will still accept the bad, toxic, and if you truly are ready to move to the next level of your life.
Here are some truths on why you should deny access to people and situations from your past and why you shouldn’t be distracted from 🗑️ from your past:
- Not Everything Deserves a Recycle Bin Moment: Some things were removed from your life for a reason. Old drama, old relationships, old habits they don’t fit the upgraded version of you. Revisiting that “trash” only delays your growth and disrupts your peace. You’ve worked way too hard to go back. Just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s worth returning to.
It’s a Test, Not a Detour: The past often shows up when you’re about to elevate or are elevating. That text from that F Boy, that opportunity, that old mindset—it’s a test of your boundaries and progress. If you're not careful, you’ll mistake it for a sign instead of a cycle trying to repeat itself. Afterwards, you’ll blame yourself, feel shame, and ask why you didn't see the signs. Truth is your intuition knew but you decided to give that person or situation another chance.
- It Can Reopen Wounds You’ve Worked Hard to Heal
Again, you’ve worked way too hard to go back. Allowing access and being distracted means revisiting old trauma, people, or behaviors can undo all your emotional progress. What once felt “unfinished” may actually be better left closed. Your peace is too expensive to keep reopening the same books! You’ve already done the healing—don’t bleed for the same wound twice.
- Not Everyone Deserves a Second Chance at Access: Just because someone wants back in your life doesn’t mean they’ve changed; as a matter fact they haven’t changed and that’s why they’re reaching out again. They want the same things that you gave them. Once you weren’t giving it to them, they missed that and that’s why they’re hoping that you’ll give them access again. Some people miss the version of you they could manipulate, not the version you are now. Remember QUEEN: Access to you is a privilege, not a reset button.
- You’re Not Who You Used to Be: Girl, You’ve F-ing grown! You realize that healing is ongoing and as a result, you’ve evolved, you’re on high vibration, and you have DO NOT F with me energy! Going back to what broke you diminishes your power and your purpose. NOPE. You’re no longer that little girl who used to people please, the timid person who was fearful of using their voice, and the one who prioritized other people’s peace and comfort over yours. You’re a WOMAN who is OWNING herself and her POWER.
There you go darlings! Remember, the trash from the past only has power if you open the lid. Let it stay where it belongs—behind you, beneath you, and no longer part of your story.
When someone from your past wants to re-enter your life to have access to you, it's easy to get caught in the nostalgia or the hope that they’ve changed. However, letting them back in without careful consideration can be emotionally draining and detrimental to your growth.
Denying access to people who hurt you in the past isn’t about being cold-hearted; it’s about respecting yourself enough to protect your peace and your currency.
As always my QUEENS, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHO GETS TO BE PART OF YOUR JOURNEY AND WHO BELONGS IN THE 🗑️. QUEENS DON’T GET DISTRACTED FROM SHIT IN THEIR PAST. THEY LIVE IN THE PRESENT AND PLAN FOR THEIR EMPIRE. LEAVE THAT 🗑️ WHERE IT BELONGS. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!
