The UN-Masking of people

Hey! Hey to all my FABULOUS Readers! I hope you all had a chance to read my previous blog when I wrote it in Bali and the importance of re-setting. Honestly, I learned a lot about myself during that trip and will be sharing more of my experiences in future blogs. 

I can’t believe that summer is over and we’re in September! ! Holy moly! Where has the summer gone? But, I’m not gonna lie, I am looking forward to FALL!!!  As you can probably tell, Fall is my favorite season! Besides it being my birthday, I love the cool, cozy, comfortable weather. This weather makes me more motivated to go walk outside, enjoy nature, and be really at peace with myself. 

Speaking of Bali and fall (two things that hardly seem related to each other), before, during, and after my trip, there were several things, events, and interactions that occurred that made me think of the intentions of people, my reactions to them, and made me really be honest on how I wanted to proceed.  I know what you’re thinking…what does this have anything to do with fall? 

Well, Halloween is in fall and (we’re still technically in summer) and yet the unmasking of people came way earlier than Halloween. This holiday is all about hiding behind a mask and eventually unmasking who you are at the end of the night. However, the unmasking  of people came earlier for me than I had anticipated (or maybe this is what was supposed to happen). 

I’ve shared my journey with all of you as I continue to forge my own and own it. Has it been an easy path? Hell NO! But this does not deter me from continuing on it.  If you have been reading my blogs, you’ve read how I discuss the relationships that you lose and gain when you take this path. Some people will always stand by you and some, sadly, you will start losing as you get more into your path and your destiny. 

Unfortunately, my dear, some of the relationships that will start to unmask and unveil themselves will be the closest relationships that you once held so dear and depended on for moral support as you take on this uneven path called life. At the beginning, some of them questioned your judgements, may have even made “concerned but well wished comments” (even when you didn’t ask for their opinions), and some may start making mean and shameful comments to you. Remember, when anyone makes these types of comments, it’s not about you, it’s about them and their unresolved issues that they are projecting onto you. 

When people unmask themselves, they can no longer keep up the facade that they have been portraying. What do people use to hide their facade and unhealed wounds? I’m going to be very honest here and a few of them may trigger a few of you. It’s not my intention to trigger any of you and I will challenge that if any of the following does trigger you, ask yourselves why? Here are a few things that I have noticed: 

• Being a “high achiever” 
• Using their education as a status symbol 
• Showing off material possessions 
• Using money to hide problems 
• The need to overshare (personally) 

There is definitely more that I can add but the above are a few that I have encountered both personally and professionally. I also want to reinforce that the above list is not anything that people should hide or be ashamed of; if any of the above resonates with you, I would ask if you are using any of the above to hide any of your unhealed wounds to encourage you to seek help if you feel that you have been using the above to use as a way to live a life that may not be authentic to who you are. 

One of the hardest things is acknowledging and accepting when someone unmasks who they are to you.  Maybe deep down, you’ve known their intentions or lack of but wanted to give this person/people the benefit of the doubt. You’ve known them for so long and feel a sense of loyalty to them. However, as you forge your own path, you note their efforts are no longer there or the relationship dynamic has changed making you question your relationship. 

But if you are someone who has worked on themselves, and continues to always reflect about your intentions, your goals, and what is important to you, you may come to the conclusion that the unmasking of these people was a necessary part of your growth and forging your path. 

So what are some things that you can do once someone or people unmask themselves to you? The following are things to consider and actions to take: 

• Process your emotions. Foremost, It’s normal to feel anger, betrayal, or disappointment when someone unmasks themselves. As always, take time to acknowledge and process your feelings and don’t try to dismiss your thoughts and feelings as overreacting. 

• Evaluate the relationship honestly. Ask yourself how this person’s actions or behavior have affected you. Were there red flags you may have overlooked? Reflecting on the relationship can help you gain clarity about whether it’s worth maintaining.

• Identify patterns of deceit. If they’ve repeatedly demonstrated behavior that is fake, mean, or shaming behavior or have consistently been manipulative, this might be an indicator that they won’t change easily.

• Protect yourself and move in silence:  In a previous blog, I reinforced the importance of moving in silence . When people unmask themselves, they may try to use your vulnerabilities against you so keeping your plans quiet is important. Also,  be cautious about sharing details or trusting them with information. 

• Don’t give them more power. If they’ve already revealed themselves, don’t allow them to continue manipulating or controlling you. Be mindful of how much access you allow them to your life and setting boundaries will be a necessity. 

The above are some tips to help you navigate people and relationships that may have come undone.  People can only put up a facade for so long before their masquerade comes undone by unmasking who they really are. 

Unfortunately, people unmasking themselves can be part of the process of forging your own path and owning it. When you forge your own path, not everyone deserves to walk with you on this path. By unmasking themselves, they showed you their true face and their intentions or lack of.  It may be hard to accept but not everyone deserves to be in your life.

When you become true to yourself, continue to be the best version of yourself, and know that growth will always be part of your life, not everyone has that mindset and will display their insecurities, unhealed wounds, and traumas to you…but you know what?? THAT’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM.  YOU ARE GOING TO CONTINUE TO LEARN, GROW, TAKE CHANCES AND BE WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE. DON’T LET OTHERS UNMASKING STOP YOU FROM BEING THE BADASS THAT YOU KNOW YOU ARE! 



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