It’s TIME to be the MAIN character of YOUR STORY

Happy September to all my peeps who are sooo done with summer! Bring on the “ber months” (September, October, and November).  My condolences to the people who love summer and who are sad that summer's done and over with.  Me? Bring on the pumpkin spice lattes, cardigans, scarves, cozy blankets, and beautiful Fall leaves!!! Plus, I am all about Libra season too. Oh and of course, I have to give a shoutout to all my Virgos out there too! Afterall, this is YOUR month! 

You know what is also great about Fall? This is when all the TV shows come back. Now, I must admit that I don’t watch too many TV shows anymore as I prefer to stream movies and watch TV shows on streaming networks. However, that doesn't mean that I don’t enjoy a TV show marathon. It’s even better when all the seasons are available to stream. 

For me, Fall is all about embracing change, transitioning from the summer, slowing down, and working on the continuum of things that may have started in the summer or yet, if it didn’t start in the summer, Fall is the perfect time to start! 

Again, you’re probably thinking, why is this woman talking about Fall and tv shows? How does this correlate to one another? Yes. I know, I have a way of blabbing on at the beginning of my blogs about topics that may not seem to relate but I promise, it all comes together.

To me, the Fall and TV shows that come back during this season are all about what new and old main characters are returning to represent the shows. We sometimes love or hate the main character of the show (I could care less about Carrie from Sex in the City but LOVED Samantha). I don’t know about you all but sometimes, the main character annoys the shit out of me and I wish the main character would be replaced by the side character/s or they have a better storyline than the main character. To me, when the side characters have a better plot, that says a lot and I would rather have the side character be the MAIN character. 

When I work with people in therapy, many of my clients have indicated to me that they feel like they’re the “side character” of their own story. Their role is to support the main character (usually  a family member/s who they lack boundaries with). The clients have mentioned that they feel as though they are in the background, fading, hoping to have a scene where they’re empowered, stand up for themselves, and finally have some recognition for all their efforts and hard work......but the reality is that they don’t.

Ladies, in a world full of social media and oversharing, some people like to “humble” women who are shameless, who like to promote themselves, and put themselves out there. Sadly, not everyone is going to like or support main character vibes, especially when you are a confident woman, who goes against the grain. Society is NOT ready for a woman like this and that’s why there tends to be a lot of backlash when a woman is out there speaking and being her true self.

Because of this, many people, especially women, may shy away from being bold, shameless, and confident because they don’t want to be judged by others. Many have been shamed, belittled, abused (emotionally, physically, and psychologically) that they can’t fathom the thought of stepping out of the shadows and having the light shine on them. To them, to be the center of attention or anything is literally their worst nightmare. 

I want to reinforce that having main character vibes and being the main character does not mean that you want constant attention and validation. It means that you are bold, you’re going to take control of your life, be the author of it, and will no longer let others dictate to you on how you should live your life. 

Being the main character is not about seeking external validation or comparing yourself to others. It's about embracing your unique qualities, following your passions, and living authentically. It’s about seizing the opportunities that come your way by creating a life that truly reflects who you are.

Becoming the main character of your own story is about taking charge of your life, pursuing your dreams, and embracing your individuality. Here are some steps to take to be the MAIN CHARACTER: 

• Define your goals: Determine what you want to achieve and what brings you joy and fulfillment. What do you want? What don’t you want? These are great questions to ask yourself to help you define your goals. 

• Take ownership of your choices: Recognize that you have the power to make decisions that shape your life. What choices and decisions are within your control? What is out of your control? Take ownership of what is in your control and start from there.

• Embrace self-discovery: Spend time alone to reflect on who you are as a person by discovering  your strengths, areas of improvement, your boundaries, values, and ethics. Really get to know you!

• Take risks and step out of your comfort zone: Have you noticed how often I talk about getting out of your comfort zone? Yep. I’m going to say it again! Taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone is all about growth.  This occurs when you challenge yourself by embracing new experiences even if they are scary!

• Cultivate self-confidence: Believe in yourself! No one is going to BELIEVE YOU like how you believe in you. Learn to accept you for who you are by embracing what you think are your imperfections, have self-compassion, and have a growth mindset. This will help build your confidence! 

• Write your own narrative: Remember, YOU ARE THE AUTHOR OF YOUR LIFE! You get to define your story on your terms. You can be the heroine or the villain (depending on what you’re feeling for that day, week, month, or year).  Recognize that some days, there will be setbacks and obstacles, but luckily, you don’t let SHIT stop you from blazing ahead.

Ladies, when you have unhealed wounds and traumas, and you’ve been the side character for some long, the thought of becoming the main character in a leading role can be terrifying and you know what? It’s okay!  Learning and healing is a work in progress; you don’t have to rush to be the main character. If it feels better for you to work your way to become the main character, that’s absolutely fine! 

However, if you’re ready to be the main character right now and are sick of being in the background, supporting and breaking yourself  for the ungrateful main character, it’s time to boldly step up, write your narrative, and take control by showing that YOU ARE the MAIN CHARACTER, especially in your OWN story. Remember, you are the author, the main character, protagonist and at times, will be the antagonist (for other people). So get ready to ooze main character vibes as it's your time to LEAD and LIVE on your terms!