Shh..Actions speak LOUDER than WORDS

Happy second week of June everyone! Summer has officially started! For those who have children, your kids may be out of school and you may already have started your summer travel plans. For those who are childfree or without children, happy June and I hope you all are enjoying this month doing whatever your hearts and goals desire. 

June means we are halfway through the year already! Wow!  How are you all feeling about it? Personally for me, I always reflect and ask myself, am I doing all the things that I know I am capable of doing? If not, what is holding me back from doing the things that I want to do, I know I can do, or why am I unable to accomplish this at this time? 

As many of you are aware, I am a solo entrepreneur , single, and childfree. Reading that, most of society and others will make assumptions about my time, my stress, and frankly my privilege. Yes, I do have a lot of privilege but so do others with or without children. We all have resources and we all have a choice on how we choose to spend and utilize those resources. 

In my personal and professional life, many people like to make assumptions about me because of my status (as mentioned above). You’ve all heard me discuss how society and even my own family members (to include immediate and extended family) like to make assumptions and make judgments about my time, my goals, and how I should be living my life according to their STANDARDS. 

In last week’s article I discussed how much of my 20’s and 30’s were about fighting for my peace, standing up for myself, and establishing/reinforcing my boundaries. It was very hard but those were my foundations that were needed to not be disturbed, have my peace, and finally living in my H.O.E era!! (Hopefully all of you read last week's blog about what H.O.E stands for). 

As I’ve grown, matured, and continued to work on myself,  I realized that I had to work on myself, growth, and goals alone. Early during my journey both personally and professionally, when I had an idea, I would be so excited to tell my friends and family about it. I imagined scenarios in which they would respond with positivity and congratulate me for my ideas and motivations.  Instead, I was met with pushback, questions and comments on how things weren’t going to work (even though no one has ever attempted it), and how it was a “dumb” idea. As you all imagine, it’s so easy to shut down when you hear these comments. 

Luckily, I’ve become tenacious, believed in myself, and STOPPED asking others about their thoughts and opinions about my dreams and intentions. I’ve learned that I needed to take certain journeys alone, surround myself with others who were also going through the same journeys, and who have actually DONE it. I decided that  I will NO LONGER ask armchair people for their feedback about things they knew NOTHING about. 

Ladies, in a world full of oversharing, needing validation, and competition on who has a better life, we’re all competing with the Joneses and each other. Most if not,  is all a facade, an outside appearance to hide true misery for external validation. Everyone wants to show and tell their newest toys, houses, relationship status, and brag about how great their life is.  It’s all about FOMO (Fear of missing out) and making you feel as though you’re missing something out by making you feel lesser than. 

Besides my professional life and putting my brand out there, most people don’t know much about my personal life.  When I have attended family events, I’ve had extended family members ask if I am still living in the same town, have the same job, etc. I do update them and they are surprised.  They note that I’m not active on social media and that I don’t show off my big milestones (personally).  I think to myself? Why? What is the purpose? 

As I’ve grown older, I am all about JOMO (Joy of missing out).  The best thing about JOMO is that I no longer need to show off. Why? I’ve learned that actions speak louder than words. Having anonymity is a blessing, and not being bothered is truly peaceful when you don't share every damn aspect of your life.

This brings me to discuss the importance of moving in silence. This term has been used to describe keeping your motivations, goals, and intentions to yourself or to a few people who you truly trust. In my work with clients, we discuss the benefits of moving in silence as many of them have hopes and goals that no one seems to understand, support, and can be downright hurtful. That’s why keeping silent about your intentions can be your best protection. 

So how and what are the benefits of moving in silence? Here are some important tips to live by: 

• Keep Your Plans Private:  As discussed, avoid discussing your plans and goals with others; only share with those who need to know, who you trust, and who will uplift you. 

• Limit Social Media Activity: Refrain from sharing too much personal information or plans online. If you have a professional presence or brand, it’s perfectly fine to use that to attract potential clients or receive brand deals. Keep your professional and personal life separate. 

• Be Selective with Your Circle: Moving in silence is all about leveling up. In this blog, I have reinforced this numerous times on who you surround yourself with can either make or break you. Who you choose to surround yourself is essential.  Remember to surround yourself with trustworthy individuals who will respect you, your privacy, and understand the importance of discretion.

• Act Without Announcement: Take actions quietly and avoid announcing your moves and plans. Just do them, work on them, and let your actions and achievements speak for themselves.

• Stay Focus and Consistent: Continue to work diligently and consistently towards your goals without getting distracted. During this journey, at times, it will be hard as you may experience FOMO when everyone else is showing off but remember to stay consistent and continue to celebrate your wins, no matter how small and acknowledge each of your accomplishments! 

As you always my Queens, forging your own path is never an easy journey. During this journey, you will have some that will cheer you on and you will have some that will try to sabotage you. By keeping your intentions, goals, and dreams quiet, no one can stop you from living your best life. 

Remember, words are cheap and ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. When you move in silence, do the work, and you are rewarded with the results, people are going to start noticing your glow, your confidence, your no BS persona, and will wonder what you did.  It’s up to YOU to decide if you want to share your journey or not. Honestly, some people don’t deserve to know or be around your presence. Be prepared for jealousy, resentment, and anger towards you as YOU achieve what you set your mind to; and as always my QUEENS, OWN IT! Own this journey and OWN WHO YOU ARE! 

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