GIRL, OWN IT!

Happy last week of October and Happy Halloween WEEK!   Are you all excited for Halloween?  What are your plans? This year for me, I’ll be handing out candy at my brother’s house while the kids (nieces and nephews) go trick or treating. My favorite part of handing out candy is seeing all the creative costumes for the kids, having that little toddler “sneaking” an extra candy from my candy bowl, and all the kids “oh and ah” from getting “nice” candy (I mainly buy chocolate). What is your favorite part of Halloween?  

For those who don’t know the history of Halloween (I am going to give a very brief and quick background), Halloween originated from the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (a Gaelic word pronounced “SAH-win”). It was a  pagan religious celebration to welcome the harvest at the end of summer. To celebrate, people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts. 

You’re probably thinking, “What is this week’s blog about? Halloween?? And what does that have to do with wellness and forging my own path?” Well, if you’re thinking about these questions (I know I would if I were the reader), these are excellent questions to be pondering! 

If you’ve read my previous blogs, you’ll notice that I have this tendency to write about things that seem to have no correlation with each other and then, it all does (eventually) come together…well at least I think so (and you can certainly disagree with me also). 

This week’s blog, I wanted to make it kind of fun by relating the theme of Halloween,  ghosts from the past (but not so distant), and how many of us, have these family generational curses that keep us stuck, the negative patterns that continue to be past down from generation to generation (if it’s not generational wealth, please don’t include me), bad/toxic behaviors that are deemed as the norm, and other unhealthy behaviors that are accepted and embraced by everyone without it ever being challenged because “that’s just the way it is.” 

For those who have never heard or understand what generational curses are, they are negative cycles, behaviors, beliefs, or traumas within families, affecting not only individuals but also previous and future generations (if they don’t get addressed). These patterns often go unchallenged, leading to repeated experiences of pain, dysfunction,  limitations, and harm. 

For this blog, I am going to first explain and break down why generational curses are so hard to break. Curses all have an origination and through time, the story can get lost on where it all started. Oftentimes, it starts with culture, religion, and family dynamics. Breaking generational curses is difficult because they are deeply ingrained in family and belief systems.  Behavior patterns along with acceptance  that have been passed down over time. These cycles are often reinforced unconsciously, making them hard to recognize and change. 

The following are a few examples of why breaking generational curses can be so difficult: 

• Normalization of Dysfunction
• Family Loyalty
• Fear of Rejection
• Cultural and Societal Influences
• Unresolved Mental Health Issues
• Guilt and Shame
• Family Resistance

How many of you feel that you can relate to the above? I know that I do. What I love writing about this blog is that I get to share my path,  my lived and learned experiences to include my professional and personal experiences with all of you. That’s why I started Your Own Pathway because I truly believe that ALL OF US can choose our own path by breaking free, challenging the ways of society, family, and others who want to keep us in patterns that we know do not serve us. 

Being the generational curse breaker is not easy. It’s one of the hardest things that you will probably have to do. Think of yourself as the protagonist of a book or a movie. Somehow, you were the chosen one (even though you didn’t want this role and this role came to you). You’re the main character who has to figure out the riddles, fight ghosts, in order to go through the door to the next level, adventure, which finally leads to PEACE. 

As with most stories, at the beginning, the protagonist will have to start training to gain their skills, know their strengths, come up with a plan, and know who the antagonist is, and especially know what their weaknesses are. An example of their weaknesses may be accountability, emotional intelligence, brain cells, and other traits that you ponder how anyone can survive without. 

So BABE! Are you ready to take on the challenge of being the unwittingly chosen protagonist that has to end generational curses?  Well here are some SPELLS to help you on this path: 

• Identify the Patterns: The first step is recognizing the recurring issues, patterns in your family and the history (e.g., substance abuse, toxic relationships, teen pregnancy,  poor mental health, poverty) . Having awareness and acknowledging that there are things that need to be addressed is the first step because what is acknowledged can then be healed. 

• Understand the Root Cause: The “in thing” right now is discovering family roots and history so dive into that history. What were the circumstances, traumas, or influences that may have contributed to these patterns? Understanding where it came from helps remove shame, helps with understanding, and empathy. 

• Healthy Boundaries: Oh my favorite “B” words! When it comes to family, you’re going to really need to work on your boundaries and to REINFORCE THEM. Certain family members will continue to engage in toxic behaviors, and setting both firm emotional and physical boundaries will protect your well-being. This  includes having limited contact or managing the way you engage with them and you know what? It’s okay to also NO longer engage with them if it disturbs your peace. 

• Rewriting and changing the story: A major part of breaking generational curses is reclaiming your life story and re-writing it.  Ask yourself, what lessons can you learn from your family history? How can you transform old patterns into new, healthier ways of being and doing? Remember, you HAVE the POWER to rewrite and change YOUR story! 

• Create New Traditions: Speaking of re-writing and changing,  you can start to  introduce new and positive habits, rituals, and behaviors in your family or personal life. This can include  self-care practices, open communication, or prioritizing emotional health; these new practices  can foster change for future generations.

• Release What You Cannot Control: Again, another commandment for  forging your own path, LET GO OF ANYTHING THAT IS BEYOND YOUR CONTROL!  You can’t change past generations, but you can control how you respond and move forward. Focus on what’s within your power to transform.
• Breaking the Cycle: It all starts with YOU and you have to want to break and end these generational curses! You are the one who has to forge your own path and OWN that this is the path that you are going to take. It will not be an easy path; it will probably be one of the hardest paths you’ll ever take; like with any story, there will be many ups, downs, tears, testing of your faith, belief, and some days, you are going to ask yourself if this path of ending curses is worth it. Remember, the final conclusion will signal to yourself and future generations that different behaviors, and new beginnings  are possible because YOU fought and broke the curses. 

My darling spell breakers, by tirelessly working on your own healing, awareness, and growth, you can transform generational patterns and offer a healthier legacy for the future if you choose to have future generations. If not, OWN your legacy right now! 

Remember, forging your own path is all about taking responsibility, action, and rebuilding new foundations that work for you. It’s about knocking down previous foundations, tearing them down, and then finding and selecting new foundations  that fit your standards. SO MY CURSE BREAKERS, , GRAB YOUR SPELL BOOK, PERFECT YOUR SPELLS, AND PUT AN END TO THESE GENERATIONAL CURSES FOR-EEEVVVER!