CLOSE THAT BOOK BABE 📔

Happy third week of December Darlings! Damn! We are closing the end of the year here! As we close the year, how would you describe  2024 for you? For me,  it was  TRANSFORMATION.  This year, I have learned the most about myself, what I am capable of, and that it is okay to let go of shit (including people, situations, beliefs, and trauma that kept me captive) that kept me in fear and stuck. Hence,  it’s been one hella of a year! 

This past week has been interesting for me. I have been summoned for jury duty! Here in the county that I reside in (Minnesota), for two weeks, I have to check in daily after 5pm to see if I get called in. For anyone who’s had to do this and actually be summoned for jury duty, I salute you; it’s been a challenging two weeks for me not to have some aspect of control of my schedule. 

Yet, as I ponder about it, I think this is the universe’s last test for me this year to see how I handle things that are not within my control. How would I rate myself? I FAILED the first few days last week.  Why? I allowed my anxiety to get the worse of me. I overworked, I over-planned, and thought of the worst scenarios, which caused me to be off balanced. 

I learned that no matter what happens, whatever situation/s I encounter/ed,  I had to ask myself what was in MY control and what wasn’t. I realized that I was in control of my emotions related to the situation/s and I had to let go of anything that wasn’t. The sooner I let go of feeling helpless and annoyed that my schedule wasn’t in my control, I felt better and made sure that I continued to center myself. Life is just easier when you flow with the process! 

As I sit here on my couch,  watching the FX series The Bear,  (in the background), and getting emotionally ready to be called into jury duty the next day, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want to close 2024. There are still two weeks until the end of the year and since this is my last blog for the year, I want to make it meaningful, honest, and still be the sassy, real, Poiab that is going to OWN her truth and words. 

First off, I want to thank all of you who have continued to support me when I decided last year that I wanted to resume my blog! It was around this time of the year that I started planning my intentions for 2024 and thought, you know what? Writing a blog to share my lived and learned experiences as a Therapist, a Hmong woman, a woman of color, and what it means to be a woman in this country would be so beneficial to help other women define how they want to live their life, forge their path, and to OWN IT. 

This blog has given me so much joy and the feedback that I have received from a few of you, has kept me going, especially during the weeks when I have asked myself, why I keep writing this blog. Your words of encouragement,  gratitude, and of thanks, have kept me going. It means the world to me to have your support 💕.

I learned A LOT about myself in 2024 and this included working on parts of myself that I didn’t like. I had to do my own shadow work, asked why people needed to step away from me, accepted that this was their decision, and be at peace with it. I really had to work on my own peace and acceptance. Once I came to that conclusion, I moved on emotionally and spiritually. 

The funny thing was when I came to this peace and acceptance, the people who stopped communicating with me, who needed their boundaries from me, started randomly creeping on the things that I have been doing and working on. Now, I know that some people may think that they are showing their support. However, a part of me thinks, “what do they want from me now?” Where were they when I was busting my ass off doing all the behind the scenes work? Where were their words of support instead of condensation about my ideas that they believe wouldn’t work?  In all, I had to ask if their intentions were well-meaning or if they wanted to use my energy for their purpose. What I learned was that I had to PROTECT MYSELF and energy.

This year wasn’t just about TRANSFORMATION but also CLOSING. Once I ACCEPT  and have PEACE, I CLOSE that BOOK  of my life. Most people talk about closing and starting new chapters. I used to say those words also and I thought, a chapter is still part of a book and a chapter is something that can always be re-visited. I came to the conclusion that there were some parts of my life and some people that I will NEVER revisit and let back in.

 I recently wrote a blog calledBURN IT BABY   where I wrote about how some bridges were meant to be burned because you knew that some people, workplaces, and situations were meant to be burned because it was a bridge you would never cross again. 

I use the metaphor of closing books instead of just chapters as it is a powerful way to think about growth and moving forward. Here's why I use the metaphor of closing books: 

• Gives FULL Closure and Allows for True New Beginnings: Closing a chapter implies that you might revisit it. Closing the whole book signifies that you’re ready to let go of the past entirely and embrace a fresh start and NOTHING from the past is continuing with you on your new book! 

• Books Represent Phases, Not Just Moments: A book symbolizes an entire phase of your life—its lessons, relationships, and experiences.  By closing a book, you acknowledge the significance of that phase while accepting that it’s complete and it’s time to move on. 

• Prevents Emotional Clutter: Keeping old chapters can clutter your emotional space, making it harder to focus on new opportunities. There is a part of you that knows that a chapter can always be revisited. By closing the book, this frees up mental and emotional energy for the next phase of your path and a new book for you to write. 

• Encourages Reflection and Learning: Once you accept and are at peace with whatever decision you made, a new book gives you a chance to write a new plot, learn from the previous characters, and the previous book once it serves its purpose. Closing a book gives you a chance to reflect the mistakes and cherish the triumphs.

• Reinforces Growth and Evolution: Life isn’t static and neither are you. Closing a book acknowledges that you’ve outgrown that part of your life. You’ve learned the truths and lessons that you will carry with you in your new book; with that new book, it will show that you’ve evolved and are ready to start a new narrative with fresh intentions and perspectives.

Creates Space for New Stories:  Holding onto the old chapters can delay starting a new one. When you choose to close a book, you open the door and a new book  to new adventures, paths, dreams,  and endless possibilities.

Reduces the Risk of Repetition:  Leaving previous chapters can tempt you to re-read old pages or repeat patterns that no longer serve you.When you close a book instead of chapters, it ensures you move forward instead of cycling back. The past is the past babe and leave it there.

Honors the Ending:  Endings are just as important as beginnings. Closing a book is a symbolic way of saying, “this mattered, I learned, and now it’s time to move on as this cycle of my life is completed.” By acknowledging the completion, this helps you make peace with the past instead of leaving things open. 

Empowers You to Write a New Narrative: Each new book is a chance to rewrite your story with a fresh perspective. You get to decide the tone, theme, direction of your new path, the plot, and the characters that you want in your book. Remember, you are the author of your story! 

 Life Is a Library, Not Just One Book:  Your life is a series of books that contains each phase of your life. The series of books is a collection of remembrance of your life.  This will help you appreciate the diversity of your experiences as you grow, nourish, and forge your path.

There you have it! What do you think? Do you think that it makes sense to view your life, the journeys, and the milestones as new books or as chapters?  If you prefer to view your life in chapters, that is perfectly okay! 

For me, closing books, rather than chapters, signifies a deeper level of release, growth, and readiness to move forward. It’s an empowering act that allows me to  honor, acknowledge my past while fully moving forward, and embracing my future. 

Darlings, regardless of how 2024 went for you, I hope that you learned about yourself, your worth, and that it’s okay to choose YOU! Forging your own path, being true to yourself, and living your authentic truth, may make you a villain in other people’s stories. But remember, that is THEIR story. You CLOSED that book of your life with those who viewed you as a villain and you are now writing your next book. 

To all my wonderful readers and those who have stood by me through it all, I want to  thank all of you for being part of my book in 2024 as I shared my life, the lessons, the big and small wins, as I continue to forge my path and OWN IT. 

SO BABES, HERE’S TO CLOSING THE OLD AND STARTING A NEW BOOK WITH  NEW STORYLINES, CHARACTERS, BLESSINGS, AND OWNING YOUR PATH! ADIEU 2024! ✨♥️🦋