LET ME BE

Happy October my Fall Baes!  October is finally here!  This month is my favorite month!! Happy birthday to my fellow Libra babies out there. It’s finally our month. Best of all, it’s finally FALL weather. It’s been a long, hot, muggy, weather, and I’m so over it!  I’m all about putting on my favorite pair of boots, cardigan, and putting on my favorite Fall lipstick shades.  How is October going for you? 

It’s been two weeks since I sent out my last  blog. As I mentioned previously,  I took time off for my birthday week.  I decided to take off almost a full week to really just focus on me, do what I want to do, not want to do, and not pressure myself to do anything if I didn’t want to. 

Strangely, by not pressuring myself, my creativity for my blogs, content creation, and ideas came to me in waves.  I felt more energetic even though I knew that I didn’t have to do work but I wanted to. I had moments of silence and during those times, it gave me a chance to reflect about conversations, emotions on how I was feeling,  my honest thoughts, and my current path. 

I recently celebrated my 41st birthday. In the past, I would always say instead of having a “birthday” I would have a “birthday month.” I always did something big, got together with others, and also accommodated others schedules and their timelines. Honestly, it got annoying that I had to consider everyone else’s schedule. I thought to myself “shouldn’t it be the other way around?” 

This year, I decided instead of scheduling around other people’s schedule, time, and what works for them, I am going to forgo all that by simply focusing on ME. I’m not corralling people to see what weekend they have open, finding the perfect location that would work for everyone, and considering what everyone else wants by forgetting my own. 

I did a lot of writing and journaling during my week off. I took the first few minutes in the morning to sit in utter silence and then afterwards, I journaled my thoughts,  aspirations,  fears, and ended by reframing everything into positivity. I truly believe that you attract what you believe you deserve. 

I had so many ideas for my blogs for October and I had to pick and choose which weeks which blogs were for. This week’s blog, I decided that I would write about how I just wanted to BE during this week. I had many thoughts  to include what I am letting go of, things that I am accepting, how I want to move forth as I learn more about myself, and the new foundations that I want to focus on as I continue to forge my path. 

During my week of BE and not DO, I sat down and wrote down the following as foundations that I will abide by: 

• Have my own back: You’re probably thinking, “Damn! Poiab must not trust anyone! What happened to her?”  Like all of you, I have been through A LOT. I would say the most has happened to be in the last 6 years.  I had a lot of ups, downs, downs, and up again. Right now, since I am pivoting,  transitioning, and transforming, this is one of the hardest journeys thus far in my life, and yet, I am surrendering to the universe by having my own back. 

• NO longer accepting SHAME: As a Hmong daughter, girl, and woman, since I could remember, shame was used a tactic by family members and the culture to use shame as a way to make me conform, guilt use to make me put other people’s needs before my own, and guilt was used to make me feel inferior when I tried something new that made other people feel uncomfortable and wanted to put me “back in my place.” Well FUCK  the shamers and I am going to keep living by my own rules and thriving. 

• I DON’T Chase: Not gonna lie, I chased and chased A LOT when I was younger. I am all about going after what I want but I realized that I was chasing the things that didn’t matter. I was chasing after the wrong guys, the materialistic things, and society’s expectations of success. I put myself on timelines and when I didn’t meet them, I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought about going back to situations that I knew that were not the best for me.  Now, my energy is conserved for the things and people who deserve my energy. I give people back what they give me. If people reject me, I no longer feel bad, and question why I was rejected. I accept and move on; you know what they say, rejection is redirection to bigger and better blessings and abundance!

• Ain’t gonna push: During my week off, I told myself that if I wanted to do something, I would but if I didn’t want to do anything, I was going to listen to myself, body, mind, and just focus on being instead of doing. In this country, we idolize people who push through even though their bodies, their mental health, and spirit is telling them to slow down and rest!  To all my small business owners out there, I know that we’re all hustling and I want to remind all of you to please listen to your body, rest, be, and welcome silence. Your body is the only one you have and if you don’t treat it like the temple it is, it will start to deteriorate. 

• Trust my intuition: Learning to trust my intuition has been one of the hardest things that I’ve had to learn and accept, especially right now when things are so uncertain. Prior to my spiritual journey, I had a lot of scarcity, only thought of what I could have more, and didn't appreciate what I had because I was comparing myself to others. One of things that I really had to learn to do was listen to my intuition. Especially when I don’t see progress and question if what I am doing is worth it. When I listen to my intuition, it tells me that I am on the right path and for me to trust it. 

So there you have it! My foundations to go by as I forge my own path. Remember, foundations can always be changed if they no longer work for you. Foundations can be torn down and rebuilt as much as you want. 

Ladies, regardless of our situation in life, we often find ourselves taking care of others. Life is so busy and we’re constantly on the go with life, family, and work.  It’s up to us to take time to rest and be. NO ONE else is going to give this to us, we have to give it to us. 

During my week of BE and not DO, I’ve learned that silence and rest brought clarity and wisdom. If you are someone who is looking for answers, many times, the answers are within you if you will only give yourself the time. You hear me say this so many times in previous blogs, and I’ll reinforce it again and again that BEING  is all about nourishing yourself holistically. So darlings, GO AHEAD AND JUST BE YOU!